Sunday, 29 March 2009
Placement
God please take control! I really need a placement. I'm supposed to be starting tomorrow but I figured that I won't be able to start on time since they haven't got me into a school yet. I guess it gives me some more time to do my assignments. yay how fun
Saturday, 7 March 2009
God's blessings
I've decided to write about some stuff that was on my mind for a very long time. (It's gonna be sorta long.)
For the longest time I've had a dilemma for this year about how I would spend my time at uni. I prayed that I wouldn't waste any of this year but to make the most of every opportunity I had to serve God at uni. One of the regrets that I've had is that I wandered around aimlessly for way too long after I started uni and hadn't had a desire to grow closer to God. I regret not making the most of my first year of uni when it wasn't all that intense, when I would've had the most time to serve God on campus. And now that I'm in my fourth and final year I look back and wish I hadn't wasted so much time.
But I know that it's never too late to step out and serve God wholeheartedly. Before uni started when I was thinking over where God wanted me to serve this year at uni, I have to admit that I was feeling rather down knowing that it was necessary for me to make a decision and to let go of certain things. I didn't know what God wanted me to do and I just wanted to wait on Him. But the more I waited the more problems it seemed to cause for me. The main problem was that the whole dilemma was mainly my own fault because I had been involved in two clubs and when I approached my parents to ask them for help with my decision they just seemed to criticise everything about me and what I did. I was actually really hurt because of the way they said things to me but at the same time I didn't really know what I wanted to get out of talking to them about it.
I wanted to question God about why I had to be in this difficult situation. But I realised that it had been because of my own choices. I was bound to the Cantonese Christian Fellowship (admin-wise) because I had made myself available to be the secretary again this year and had already been elected. But at the same time I was challenged to become a Key Volunteer in Student Life. Truthfully, my ability to be involved in any club is limited because of the teaching rounds I have to go on and the workload that I'll face for uni. It's only the first week and I already feel that I will struggle a lot to stay on top.
CCF
This period of time when I was thinking about my involvement in both clubs, I started to question my motives in serving at CCF. I had two motives, one was just because I could help with the administration side of things and two, because I believed that it was God's will for this fellowship to keep going at Monash. Without a complete committee, the club can't continue on. The reason why I first got involved in the committee in my second year was because of the second reason, because I had seen how there were so many Hong Kong students and what a great harvest it is. I know that besides admin stuff and just chatting to students about stuff I don't really have much other abilities in terms of leading anything in Cantonese or praying or having deep spiritual conversations in Cantonese. As time passed I had started to feel pressure that I couldn't do any of these and that I couldn't actually contribute much to the club. But the whole time I was thinking about me, me, me; what could I do? what could I not do?
I talked to Nobu and he gave me some verses (Luke 22:42, Acts 5:39, Proverbs 19:21) and I realised regardless of what "I" can or cannot do, that so long as it is God's will then it WILL continue to go on, even if I can't commit to it. It really isn't about how much I can contribute because it isn't about me at all. My contribution is so small in comparison to what God can actually do with His power. I experienced that this week at the welcome party for CCF. It was raining during the day and I was doubting whether the people who said they would come, would actually come. I don't know why I let myself become so little in faith because God has taught me time and time again (during Beyond Brisbane) that rain won't stop people coming. There were so many people at the welcome party (PRAISE GOD!!!) and then I was reminded again why I had wanted to be a part of CCF. Because of the great harvest I knew was here at Monash amongst Cantonese speaking students.
Student Life
I've learnt so much from being in Student Life and it was through SL that I realised how distant my relationship with God actually was. I really saw the importance of evangelism on campus during this period of time when uni students have so much freedom and time. I realised through SL that I didn't want to go through my uni years not having done anything for our Lord while I had the chance. SL/CCC has an important part in my heart because of how God used these both here and in Korea to bring me back to Him and what was actually important. So when Renee challenged me to become a Key Volunteer, the only thing stopping me was my involvement in CCF. I felt so torn but because English is my first language, I realised that in the long run I would be much more comfortable in SL and working with Aussie students.
I mentioned that I had wanted to ask God why all of this was happening because it caused so many problems for me. But then I remembered the prayer I had prayed some time during the holiday, that I would be able to make the most of all of this year to serve God. I realised that God was answering my prayer and giving me a chance to fully serve HIm because I know if I only continued with CCF then I would graduate not having really made up for my past regrets.
This first week of uni has been rough, because I've found out that one tute time that I have to go to now is over SL Live time which means I'll miss out (even though I really don't want to!!) I had also gotten a scare from an education email saying that I could've been incorrectly enrolled because of not having completed past core units. Luckily the lady understood because I had been on exchange and had come to an agreement with Jenny Brown. Stuff flashed through my mind after I read the email and thought of what it would be like if I had to study an extra year. But hopefully that will not be the case. Two steps before all of this clears away is for my education exchange units to get credited and for Keasty, the guy in charge, to give approval for everything.
All of this showed me how God really does take care of me. I know my parents care for me so much, but when I think of my creator, I really can't start to imagine how much love and care he actually has for me. I think I'm very lucky and a lot of good things do come my way. But even as others may just see it as lucky, I KNOW that everything has been part of God's blessings for me. I recognise that it is God's blessing to me that I can actually be a part of two of His ministries on campus. And that the difficulties I went through was to make me realise where my focus really should be and how blessed I really am.
For the longest time I've had a dilemma for this year about how I would spend my time at uni. I prayed that I wouldn't waste any of this year but to make the most of every opportunity I had to serve God at uni. One of the regrets that I've had is that I wandered around aimlessly for way too long after I started uni and hadn't had a desire to grow closer to God. I regret not making the most of my first year of uni when it wasn't all that intense, when I would've had the most time to serve God on campus. And now that I'm in my fourth and final year I look back and wish I hadn't wasted so much time.
But I know that it's never too late to step out and serve God wholeheartedly. Before uni started when I was thinking over where God wanted me to serve this year at uni, I have to admit that I was feeling rather down knowing that it was necessary for me to make a decision and to let go of certain things. I didn't know what God wanted me to do and I just wanted to wait on Him. But the more I waited the more problems it seemed to cause for me. The main problem was that the whole dilemma was mainly my own fault because I had been involved in two clubs and when I approached my parents to ask them for help with my decision they just seemed to criticise everything about me and what I did. I was actually really hurt because of the way they said things to me but at the same time I didn't really know what I wanted to get out of talking to them about it.
I wanted to question God about why I had to be in this difficult situation. But I realised that it had been because of my own choices. I was bound to the Cantonese Christian Fellowship (admin-wise) because I had made myself available to be the secretary again this year and had already been elected. But at the same time I was challenged to become a Key Volunteer in Student Life. Truthfully, my ability to be involved in any club is limited because of the teaching rounds I have to go on and the workload that I'll face for uni. It's only the first week and I already feel that I will struggle a lot to stay on top.
CCF
This period of time when I was thinking about my involvement in both clubs, I started to question my motives in serving at CCF. I had two motives, one was just because I could help with the administration side of things and two, because I believed that it was God's will for this fellowship to keep going at Monash. Without a complete committee, the club can't continue on. The reason why I first got involved in the committee in my second year was because of the second reason, because I had seen how there were so many Hong Kong students and what a great harvest it is. I know that besides admin stuff and just chatting to students about stuff I don't really have much other abilities in terms of leading anything in Cantonese or praying or having deep spiritual conversations in Cantonese. As time passed I had started to feel pressure that I couldn't do any of these and that I couldn't actually contribute much to the club. But the whole time I was thinking about me, me, me; what could I do? what could I not do?
I talked to Nobu and he gave me some verses (Luke 22:42, Acts 5:39, Proverbs 19:21) and I realised regardless of what "I" can or cannot do, that so long as it is God's will then it WILL continue to go on, even if I can't commit to it. It really isn't about how much I can contribute because it isn't about me at all. My contribution is so small in comparison to what God can actually do with His power. I experienced that this week at the welcome party for CCF. It was raining during the day and I was doubting whether the people who said they would come, would actually come. I don't know why I let myself become so little in faith because God has taught me time and time again (during Beyond Brisbane) that rain won't stop people coming. There were so many people at the welcome party (PRAISE GOD!!!) and then I was reminded again why I had wanted to be a part of CCF. Because of the great harvest I knew was here at Monash amongst Cantonese speaking students.
Student Life
I've learnt so much from being in Student Life and it was through SL that I realised how distant my relationship with God actually was. I really saw the importance of evangelism on campus during this period of time when uni students have so much freedom and time. I realised through SL that I didn't want to go through my uni years not having done anything for our Lord while I had the chance. SL/CCC has an important part in my heart because of how God used these both here and in Korea to bring me back to Him and what was actually important. So when Renee challenged me to become a Key Volunteer, the only thing stopping me was my involvement in CCF. I felt so torn but because English is my first language, I realised that in the long run I would be much more comfortable in SL and working with Aussie students.
I mentioned that I had wanted to ask God why all of this was happening because it caused so many problems for me. But then I remembered the prayer I had prayed some time during the holiday, that I would be able to make the most of all of this year to serve God. I realised that God was answering my prayer and giving me a chance to fully serve HIm because I know if I only continued with CCF then I would graduate not having really made up for my past regrets.
This first week of uni has been rough, because I've found out that one tute time that I have to go to now is over SL Live time which means I'll miss out (even though I really don't want to!!) I had also gotten a scare from an education email saying that I could've been incorrectly enrolled because of not having completed past core units. Luckily the lady understood because I had been on exchange and had come to an agreement with Jenny Brown. Stuff flashed through my mind after I read the email and thought of what it would be like if I had to study an extra year. But hopefully that will not be the case. Two steps before all of this clears away is for my education exchange units to get credited and for Keasty, the guy in charge, to give approval for everything.
All of this showed me how God really does take care of me. I know my parents care for me so much, but when I think of my creator, I really can't start to imagine how much love and care he actually has for me. I think I'm very lucky and a lot of good things do come my way. But even as others may just see it as lucky, I KNOW that everything has been part of God's blessings for me. I recognise that it is God's blessing to me that I can actually be a part of two of His ministries on campus. And that the difficulties I went through was to make me realise where my focus really should be and how blessed I really am.
Friday, 6 March 2009
Goodbye Summer holidays
Ok so it's been way too long since I last posted.
Update on the past few weeks/month:
Update on the past few weeks/month:
- had my 21st birthday!
- took part in the ISM project at uni to meet some international students while they were enroling
- went to Student Life Pre-Season training (preparation for O-Week)
- went to the awesome BBQ held by ISM as well before uni started (had a great turnout!! God never fails to surprise us)
- Helped out during O-Week at CCF and Student Life
- had some driving lessons
- realised that my final summer holidays as a uni student was coming to an end :(
- started uni (yay! and aww at the same time)
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Nick Vujicic
I just wanted to share some videos of Nick Vujicic sharing at a church. I was really touched when I first saw a video of him on facebook. I came across a video of him again from the site biblebasics and then started watching other videos of him sharing his testimony. His story is so powerful, it made me cry watching videos of him sharing in front of school kids and going around the world speaking. I've learnt a lot from his testimony especially about not being alone, not giving up and letting God use me for His will and not mine.
I enjoyed watching this particular video because it's a long one of him sharing all the trademark bits of his story and it's at a church. He's quite funny lol and it's awesome that he's from Melbourne too!
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXTvIEpLUbk
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmhF2tt2Wkw
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7Utk5Ejqiw
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WENXImuY1jM
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka6y-tMEGIU
I enjoyed watching this particular video because it's a long one of him sharing all the trademark bits of his story and it's at a church. He's quite funny lol and it's awesome that he's from Melbourne too!
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXTvIEpLUbk
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmhF2tt2Wkw
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7Utk5Ejqiw
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WENXImuY1jM
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka6y-tMEGIU
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Japan
Every day, I continue to be amazed by God, who He is, His plan for me, how much He loves me, how beautiful His creation is, all the awesome people He has allowed me to meet and how AMAZING His grace really is.
Looking back over the past two years, I've realised now how blind I have been this whole time. At Mid Year Conference (MYC) in 2007, I first heard about "Mission Megumi", a four week mission to Japan run by Student Life, a Christian ministry at my uni. I had only been in Student Life for one semester and my relationship with God wasn't really close, so although I went to the information session, I really had no idea what it was about and what it involved. Nor did I realise that two years later I would seriously be considering to go on this mission.
Honestly, in the past I didn't really have much of an interest for Japan or for Japanese people as my interest in Korean things had overshadowed pretty much anything. I did watch a few anime though hehe which were good! But somehow I was never really cut off from Japanese things. From maybe sometime in highschool I had asked my dad to get me a Japanese book because I wanted to learn the language. (I still have the book!) However I never really committed to it because later on Korean overshadowed it. But still even after that, I discovered that my favourite Korean singer knew and sung songs in Japanese (as well as several other artists). I actually practised some of her songs in Japanese when I was in highschool haha :x After I started uni, I had wanted to study Japanese as well but because I had already chosen other subjects there was no room for it.
Anyway, even after God had allowed my path to cross with Shiho and Cecilia who were going on Mission Megumi after the 2007 MYC, I was still so blinded. I checked because I forgot lol but I did support both of them (I think), and I know Shiho had sent updates, prayer points and the newsletter after the project to me...but I don't think I really prayed for the team (-_-") nor did I read the newsletter until just today :x (after coming back with Shiho from Sydney!). I can't believe how blinded and dumb I was and how God had been giving me signs all along. I STILL have the "Mission Megumi" flier from 2007 as well which I had with my bible for the longest time ever.
Then last year I went on Beyond Brisbane and got to spend more time with Shiho, and met STINTers from Japan, Shubo and Nobu. It was a pleasure to serve with everyone on that team and I learnt so much. God really opened up my eyes as I got to know Shubo and Nobu and saw their passion for God and my lack of interest for Japan slowly began to change.
Anyway how everything seems to tie in is that when I went to Sydney with Shiho just a few days ago, she introduced me to Andy (we stayed at his house), George and Esther who had all gone on Mission Megumi as well. It definitely wasn't a coincidence that things happened the way they did.
Prior to going to Sydney, Cecilia had actually contacted me because she was preparing to go to Japan on a year long STINT (Short Term INTernational). I sort of forgot that I had supported her back in 2007 and had only had a few conversations with her before but after Beyond Brisbane I felt that God was really giving me an opportunity to be involved in ministry in Japan through supporting Cecilia. I never imagined that after meeting up with Cecilia and hearing about what she would be doing in Japan, that I would end up meeting the other two STINTers as well in Sydney.
I had always regretted that I hadn't made the most of all my time at uni to serve God but I'm pretty certain that He is giving me another opportunity to make up for lost time through "Mission Megumi". Although it's not until the end of the year I feel God is calling me to go. So many times I've missed God's call for me to serve Him but I know He's always waiting there patiently. His grace truly is sufficient for us all and I want to share this with the beautiful people of Japan! I started to think about how God has been graceful to Korean's as they have such a high percentage of Christians and I know it's about time for revival in Japan! I want to be involved and used by God if it's His will.
I'm going to study Japanese in my free time this year. finally!
Looking back over the past two years, I've realised now how blind I have been this whole time. At Mid Year Conference (MYC) in 2007, I first heard about "Mission Megumi", a four week mission to Japan run by Student Life, a Christian ministry at my uni. I had only been in Student Life for one semester and my relationship with God wasn't really close, so although I went to the information session, I really had no idea what it was about and what it involved. Nor did I realise that two years later I would seriously be considering to go on this mission.
Honestly, in the past I didn't really have much of an interest for Japan or for Japanese people as my interest in Korean things had overshadowed pretty much anything. I did watch a few anime though hehe which were good! But somehow I was never really cut off from Japanese things. From maybe sometime in highschool I had asked my dad to get me a Japanese book because I wanted to learn the language. (I still have the book!) However I never really committed to it because later on Korean overshadowed it. But still even after that, I discovered that my favourite Korean singer knew and sung songs in Japanese (as well as several other artists). I actually practised some of her songs in Japanese when I was in highschool haha :x After I started uni, I had wanted to study Japanese as well but because I had already chosen other subjects there was no room for it.
Anyway, even after God had allowed my path to cross with Shiho and Cecilia who were going on Mission Megumi after the 2007 MYC, I was still so blinded. I checked because I forgot lol but I did support both of them (I think), and I know Shiho had sent updates, prayer points and the newsletter after the project to me...but I don't think I really prayed for the team (-_-") nor did I read the newsletter until just today :x (after coming back with Shiho from Sydney!). I can't believe how blinded and dumb I was and how God had been giving me signs all along. I STILL have the "Mission Megumi" flier from 2007 as well which I had with my bible for the longest time ever.
Then last year I went on Beyond Brisbane and got to spend more time with Shiho, and met STINTers from Japan, Shubo and Nobu. It was a pleasure to serve with everyone on that team and I learnt so much. God really opened up my eyes as I got to know Shubo and Nobu and saw their passion for God and my lack of interest for Japan slowly began to change.
Anyway how everything seems to tie in is that when I went to Sydney with Shiho just a few days ago, she introduced me to Andy (we stayed at his house), George and Esther who had all gone on Mission Megumi as well. It definitely wasn't a coincidence that things happened the way they did.
Prior to going to Sydney, Cecilia had actually contacted me because she was preparing to go to Japan on a year long STINT (Short Term INTernational). I sort of forgot that I had supported her back in 2007 and had only had a few conversations with her before but after Beyond Brisbane I felt that God was really giving me an opportunity to be involved in ministry in Japan through supporting Cecilia. I never imagined that after meeting up with Cecilia and hearing about what she would be doing in Japan, that I would end up meeting the other two STINTers as well in Sydney.
I had always regretted that I hadn't made the most of all my time at uni to serve God but I'm pretty certain that He is giving me another opportunity to make up for lost time through "Mission Megumi". Although it's not until the end of the year I feel God is calling me to go. So many times I've missed God's call for me to serve Him but I know He's always waiting there patiently. His grace truly is sufficient for us all and I want to share this with the beautiful people of Japan! I started to think about how God has been graceful to Korean's as they have such a high percentage of Christians and I know it's about time for revival in Japan! I want to be involved and used by God if it's His will.
I'm going to study Japanese in my free time this year. finally!
God is in control
It has almost been two months since the Beyond Brisbane project ended. And I haven't really posted anything in this blog. But after coming back from visiting and meeting SL people in Sydney and since the holidays are almost over, I've decided to get posting in this blog! I'll just be posting anything and everything that I want to share about my walk with God and what has given me inspiration or I have found encouraging.
This is my final year of uni (already) and I'm constantly thinking about how God wants me to spend this last year, as there are several ministries that I can serve in. But although I've given it thought and prayed about it, I'm still not sure where I should be. I know I need to be more diligent with prayer because sometimes I just put my problems aside and hope that they will eventually be sorted out by themselves -_- (silly, I know). With only two weeks left before orientation I know time is running out and having to go on placements during the semester doesn't make it much easier to decide either. But something I thought about was serving where the greatest need was. I'm learning to give up the control to God of more areas of my life, a major one being my uni life. I know that so long as I make myself available to serve God, He will use me in His own way.
This is my final year of uni (already) and I'm constantly thinking about how God wants me to spend this last year, as there are several ministries that I can serve in. But although I've given it thought and prayed about it, I'm still not sure where I should be. I know I need to be more diligent with prayer because sometimes I just put my problems aside and hope that they will eventually be sorted out by themselves -_- (silly, I know). With only two weeks left before orientation I know time is running out and having to go on placements during the semester doesn't make it much easier to decide either. But something I thought about was serving where the greatest need was. I'm learning to give up the control to God of more areas of my life, a major one being my uni life. I know that so long as I make myself available to serve God, He will use me in His own way.
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Flying to Brisbane really soon!! I wrote up my testimony yesterday. It felt good to get it out after thinking about it for so long. I feel really nervous right now. About everything but also about having to share the thing I wrote. I don't think it really reflects how God has made an impact in my life, I feel as though the way I've conveyed the story of how I came to Christ is not how I really feel deep down. I want to share my experiences but I really suck at putting my thoughts together and getting straight to the point. I realise I need God so much, that it's not about what I can do, but that God let me experience the things I did.
Eh I'm really confused right now. I don't know where this is heading. I just know that God gave me the courage and confidence to stand up and although I still get scared I know that there's nothing I have to fear. Because I belong to God. I don't need to be afraid of anything because God is with me.
Eh I'm really confused right now. I don't know where this is heading. I just know that God gave me the courage and confidence to stand up and although I still get scared I know that there's nothing I have to fear. Because I belong to God. I don't need to be afraid of anything because God is with me.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
With only a few days to go before I head to Brisbane on a summer project, I wonder to myself 'am I really prepared? Will God use me?' I'm both excited and nervous about the whole experience and although I have all these worries, I know I can never be fully prepared. If I keep waiting for the point where I feel I'm completely "prepared", I know I'll never step out to be used by God. I've been putting off the finalising of my testimony. It feels so over the place and I don't really know which bits are really worth sharing. I feel a little down that although the project is coming up, I still haven't sorted out my testimony and what kind of things I'd like to share when I'm there. I know God has done so many things in my life but the constant struggle I have to change, to turn away from distractions is stopping me from putting all my thoughts together. I keep thinking that I don't have an amazing story to share, a life-changing testimony, which in a way is true. But despite having grown up going to church, it has never meant that my spiritual state has always been good; actually, far from it. Right now I don't even know what I'm saying, it's just then when I think about the things that have happened to me in the past few years, I feel as if they should've been things I realised or experienced way earlier. I'm constantly worrying about how people would view me as a pastor's kid who is only experiencing these kind of things now.. who is only stepping out to evangelise now. I know I shouldn't care what people think, because it doesn't matter, it's never too late to experience God. I feel stupid sometimes for thinking about things like that. I feel stupid that after all I experienced when I was in Korea, I've let myself slide again and am constantly struggling to change myself. I don't want to live trapped in my old self. I know I can't do it out of my own strength but I lack faith to let God give me that strength and to take control of my broken life. I need to trust in God and let Him change me...
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