Sunday, 29 March 2009
Placement
God please take control! I really need a placement. I'm supposed to be starting tomorrow but I figured that I won't be able to start on time since they haven't got me into a school yet. I guess it gives me some more time to do my assignments. yay how fun
Saturday, 7 March 2009
God's blessings
I've decided to write about some stuff that was on my mind for a very long time. (It's gonna be sorta long.)
For the longest time I've had a dilemma for this year about how I would spend my time at uni. I prayed that I wouldn't waste any of this year but to make the most of every opportunity I had to serve God at uni. One of the regrets that I've had is that I wandered around aimlessly for way too long after I started uni and hadn't had a desire to grow closer to God. I regret not making the most of my first year of uni when it wasn't all that intense, when I would've had the most time to serve God on campus. And now that I'm in my fourth and final year I look back and wish I hadn't wasted so much time.
But I know that it's never too late to step out and serve God wholeheartedly. Before uni started when I was thinking over where God wanted me to serve this year at uni, I have to admit that I was feeling rather down knowing that it was necessary for me to make a decision and to let go of certain things. I didn't know what God wanted me to do and I just wanted to wait on Him. But the more I waited the more problems it seemed to cause for me. The main problem was that the whole dilemma was mainly my own fault because I had been involved in two clubs and when I approached my parents to ask them for help with my decision they just seemed to criticise everything about me and what I did. I was actually really hurt because of the way they said things to me but at the same time I didn't really know what I wanted to get out of talking to them about it.
I wanted to question God about why I had to be in this difficult situation. But I realised that it had been because of my own choices. I was bound to the Cantonese Christian Fellowship (admin-wise) because I had made myself available to be the secretary again this year and had already been elected. But at the same time I was challenged to become a Key Volunteer in Student Life. Truthfully, my ability to be involved in any club is limited because of the teaching rounds I have to go on and the workload that I'll face for uni. It's only the first week and I already feel that I will struggle a lot to stay on top.
CCF
This period of time when I was thinking about my involvement in both clubs, I started to question my motives in serving at CCF. I had two motives, one was just because I could help with the administration side of things and two, because I believed that it was God's will for this fellowship to keep going at Monash. Without a complete committee, the club can't continue on. The reason why I first got involved in the committee in my second year was because of the second reason, because I had seen how there were so many Hong Kong students and what a great harvest it is. I know that besides admin stuff and just chatting to students about stuff I don't really have much other abilities in terms of leading anything in Cantonese or praying or having deep spiritual conversations in Cantonese. As time passed I had started to feel pressure that I couldn't do any of these and that I couldn't actually contribute much to the club. But the whole time I was thinking about me, me, me; what could I do? what could I not do?
I talked to Nobu and he gave me some verses (Luke 22:42, Acts 5:39, Proverbs 19:21) and I realised regardless of what "I" can or cannot do, that so long as it is God's will then it WILL continue to go on, even if I can't commit to it. It really isn't about how much I can contribute because it isn't about me at all. My contribution is so small in comparison to what God can actually do with His power. I experienced that this week at the welcome party for CCF. It was raining during the day and I was doubting whether the people who said they would come, would actually come. I don't know why I let myself become so little in faith because God has taught me time and time again (during Beyond Brisbane) that rain won't stop people coming. There were so many people at the welcome party (PRAISE GOD!!!) and then I was reminded again why I had wanted to be a part of CCF. Because of the great harvest I knew was here at Monash amongst Cantonese speaking students.
Student Life
I've learnt so much from being in Student Life and it was through SL that I realised how distant my relationship with God actually was. I really saw the importance of evangelism on campus during this period of time when uni students have so much freedom and time. I realised through SL that I didn't want to go through my uni years not having done anything for our Lord while I had the chance. SL/CCC has an important part in my heart because of how God used these both here and in Korea to bring me back to Him and what was actually important. So when Renee challenged me to become a Key Volunteer, the only thing stopping me was my involvement in CCF. I felt so torn but because English is my first language, I realised that in the long run I would be much more comfortable in SL and working with Aussie students.
I mentioned that I had wanted to ask God why all of this was happening because it caused so many problems for me. But then I remembered the prayer I had prayed some time during the holiday, that I would be able to make the most of all of this year to serve God. I realised that God was answering my prayer and giving me a chance to fully serve HIm because I know if I only continued with CCF then I would graduate not having really made up for my past regrets.
This first week of uni has been rough, because I've found out that one tute time that I have to go to now is over SL Live time which means I'll miss out (even though I really don't want to!!) I had also gotten a scare from an education email saying that I could've been incorrectly enrolled because of not having completed past core units. Luckily the lady understood because I had been on exchange and had come to an agreement with Jenny Brown. Stuff flashed through my mind after I read the email and thought of what it would be like if I had to study an extra year. But hopefully that will not be the case. Two steps before all of this clears away is for my education exchange units to get credited and for Keasty, the guy in charge, to give approval for everything.
All of this showed me how God really does take care of me. I know my parents care for me so much, but when I think of my creator, I really can't start to imagine how much love and care he actually has for me. I think I'm very lucky and a lot of good things do come my way. But even as others may just see it as lucky, I KNOW that everything has been part of God's blessings for me. I recognise that it is God's blessing to me that I can actually be a part of two of His ministries on campus. And that the difficulties I went through was to make me realise where my focus really should be and how blessed I really am.
For the longest time I've had a dilemma for this year about how I would spend my time at uni. I prayed that I wouldn't waste any of this year but to make the most of every opportunity I had to serve God at uni. One of the regrets that I've had is that I wandered around aimlessly for way too long after I started uni and hadn't had a desire to grow closer to God. I regret not making the most of my first year of uni when it wasn't all that intense, when I would've had the most time to serve God on campus. And now that I'm in my fourth and final year I look back and wish I hadn't wasted so much time.
But I know that it's never too late to step out and serve God wholeheartedly. Before uni started when I was thinking over where God wanted me to serve this year at uni, I have to admit that I was feeling rather down knowing that it was necessary for me to make a decision and to let go of certain things. I didn't know what God wanted me to do and I just wanted to wait on Him. But the more I waited the more problems it seemed to cause for me. The main problem was that the whole dilemma was mainly my own fault because I had been involved in two clubs and when I approached my parents to ask them for help with my decision they just seemed to criticise everything about me and what I did. I was actually really hurt because of the way they said things to me but at the same time I didn't really know what I wanted to get out of talking to them about it.
I wanted to question God about why I had to be in this difficult situation. But I realised that it had been because of my own choices. I was bound to the Cantonese Christian Fellowship (admin-wise) because I had made myself available to be the secretary again this year and had already been elected. But at the same time I was challenged to become a Key Volunteer in Student Life. Truthfully, my ability to be involved in any club is limited because of the teaching rounds I have to go on and the workload that I'll face for uni. It's only the first week and I already feel that I will struggle a lot to stay on top.
CCF
This period of time when I was thinking about my involvement in both clubs, I started to question my motives in serving at CCF. I had two motives, one was just because I could help with the administration side of things and two, because I believed that it was God's will for this fellowship to keep going at Monash. Without a complete committee, the club can't continue on. The reason why I first got involved in the committee in my second year was because of the second reason, because I had seen how there were so many Hong Kong students and what a great harvest it is. I know that besides admin stuff and just chatting to students about stuff I don't really have much other abilities in terms of leading anything in Cantonese or praying or having deep spiritual conversations in Cantonese. As time passed I had started to feel pressure that I couldn't do any of these and that I couldn't actually contribute much to the club. But the whole time I was thinking about me, me, me; what could I do? what could I not do?
I talked to Nobu and he gave me some verses (Luke 22:42, Acts 5:39, Proverbs 19:21) and I realised regardless of what "I" can or cannot do, that so long as it is God's will then it WILL continue to go on, even if I can't commit to it. It really isn't about how much I can contribute because it isn't about me at all. My contribution is so small in comparison to what God can actually do with His power. I experienced that this week at the welcome party for CCF. It was raining during the day and I was doubting whether the people who said they would come, would actually come. I don't know why I let myself become so little in faith because God has taught me time and time again (during Beyond Brisbane) that rain won't stop people coming. There were so many people at the welcome party (PRAISE GOD!!!) and then I was reminded again why I had wanted to be a part of CCF. Because of the great harvest I knew was here at Monash amongst Cantonese speaking students.
Student Life
I've learnt so much from being in Student Life and it was through SL that I realised how distant my relationship with God actually was. I really saw the importance of evangelism on campus during this period of time when uni students have so much freedom and time. I realised through SL that I didn't want to go through my uni years not having done anything for our Lord while I had the chance. SL/CCC has an important part in my heart because of how God used these both here and in Korea to bring me back to Him and what was actually important. So when Renee challenged me to become a Key Volunteer, the only thing stopping me was my involvement in CCF. I felt so torn but because English is my first language, I realised that in the long run I would be much more comfortable in SL and working with Aussie students.
I mentioned that I had wanted to ask God why all of this was happening because it caused so many problems for me. But then I remembered the prayer I had prayed some time during the holiday, that I would be able to make the most of all of this year to serve God. I realised that God was answering my prayer and giving me a chance to fully serve HIm because I know if I only continued with CCF then I would graduate not having really made up for my past regrets.
This first week of uni has been rough, because I've found out that one tute time that I have to go to now is over SL Live time which means I'll miss out (even though I really don't want to!!) I had also gotten a scare from an education email saying that I could've been incorrectly enrolled because of not having completed past core units. Luckily the lady understood because I had been on exchange and had come to an agreement with Jenny Brown. Stuff flashed through my mind after I read the email and thought of what it would be like if I had to study an extra year. But hopefully that will not be the case. Two steps before all of this clears away is for my education exchange units to get credited and for Keasty, the guy in charge, to give approval for everything.
All of this showed me how God really does take care of me. I know my parents care for me so much, but when I think of my creator, I really can't start to imagine how much love and care he actually has for me. I think I'm very lucky and a lot of good things do come my way. But even as others may just see it as lucky, I KNOW that everything has been part of God's blessings for me. I recognise that it is God's blessing to me that I can actually be a part of two of His ministries on campus. And that the difficulties I went through was to make me realise where my focus really should be and how blessed I really am.
Friday, 6 March 2009
Goodbye Summer holidays
Ok so it's been way too long since I last posted.
Update on the past few weeks/month:
Update on the past few weeks/month:
- had my 21st birthday!
- took part in the ISM project at uni to meet some international students while they were enroling
- went to Student Life Pre-Season training (preparation for O-Week)
- went to the awesome BBQ held by ISM as well before uni started (had a great turnout!! God never fails to surprise us)
- Helped out during O-Week at CCF and Student Life
- had some driving lessons
- realised that my final summer holidays as a uni student was coming to an end :(
- started uni (yay! and aww at the same time)
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