Finally told my parents about my study situation. I told my dad (and then he told my mum). Luckily he didn't blow up in anger because he was in the middle of watching TV when I told him. I wasn't too sure when my mum found out exactly because I went to work that night and also the next day until the afternoon. When my mum asked me about it, it was in the calmest manner ever(!) so I was surprised but thankful to God that the timing of everything was right and that my parents weren't too negative about the whole situation.
Anyway now that I've got that off my chest, I've still got to bring up Mission Megumi to my parents. I have three weeks until the deadline where all the paperwork has to be in. I start placement next week which will give me a much needed break from the assignments that I've already had to work on and hand in. I'm feeling quite a lot of pressure from all the things I've taken on and sometimes really just wanna cave in and give up. I feel as though when I'm doing things I'm not putting all my effort into it because there's so much to do. Like preparation for the humanities bible study, teaching sunday school and my assignments. In terms of serving God at church and at uni I've really realised my limitations in knowledge and ability and really wish I could do my part to change that but right now, it's something that I can't just fix straight away. I sorta lost track of what I was trying to get at, except that I know I can only get through all of this if I depend on God and not myself. I will bring up Mission Megumi again with my parents some time next week.
The other thing was, I'm struggling so hard to work with a classmate of mine for an assignment we had to do in groups. We could choose who to work with but I sorta just ended up with this person (because the class doesn't have a lot of students) but deep down, I didn't actually want to work with this student. I've known this person for awhile but I was never really close to them. When we met up to do our work, I don't know why it was so hard for me to work with them or agree with anything they said. There's several reasons why this was the case but I just didn't know how to deal with it or stop myself from reacting in a not so positive way or having a sorta stinky attitude to doing work with the student. I know I'm lacking love for this person. It's just so difficult when I can't see what there is to love about someone =.=" I have to work with this person again for a later project in the semester. But honestly I don't want to. I feel bad though because I know I'm only thinking about myself.
I was just looking up the word "selfish" on biblegateway and this verse came up: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3
I realise I have a long way to go in terms of true humility. God, please humble me.
