When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14

my work

the best thing about my work is when at the end of the day all that people can do and want to do is to give praise to God. He is awesome!

Bringing my sin into the light

Can't believe how quick time has gone by and how I've already been back in Australia for 6 months. I haven't been so motivated to blog about stuff that has been happening even though there are things that God has been teaching me that I do want to share with people.

There were times where I felt really crummy, emotions were running wild and was just feeling plain lost. Other times were really great as I met up with old friends, met new people and saw the process that God was bringing me through to help me transition to my next step here.

It was raining when I first started writing this post. I like listening to rain since in a way it's a reminder of how God has washed away my sin. He has been humbling me time and time again as He has helped me to see the sin in my life that He is freeing me from.

It was easy to start thinking selfish and sinful thoughts during the times that I felt down and just having a really rotten attitude. Firstly because relationships take effort and since I was away it was going to take time to reconnect with people. Relationships with a lot of people weren't going to be like they were before either and that was hard to accept. There were too many times where I was just wallowing in self-pity wishing that people would take initiative with me and was frustrated that it seemed like few people genuinely cared about the two years I spent in Japan and the significance of the work there.

I questioned why I even went in the first place and why I came back to Australia when not a single person said to me when I came back "you worked hard, Olivia" or something equivalent to 辛苦了, おつかれ or 수고했어. For me it was just that people didn't really take an interest in wanting to hear about how I had seen God work or what the situation is really like there and how they could continue praying. It started to bug me every time people just asked me about whether I could speak Japanese as if that was the main reason why I went.

But really these last few months have really shown me how much of a sinner I am and how I am so in need of God's grace. These arrogant, unloving thoughts (and more) just came out when things got hard when I thought I had already surrendered to God the right to making something of myself in this world, to be recognised, acknowledged, appreciated, to have a comfortable life. I know how prideful I was in my thinking and how going to Japan was never about being recognised or praised for what I did but it always goes back to being about giving glory to God. I know that without God, there is no way that I could ever be good or pursue things that He cares about.

So I've learnt to put myself in the shoes of others, understanding that it's going to happen that people won't know what to ask about my time in Japan or that they won't necessarily take an interest as much as I wish that wasn't the case. As I've mentioned to others though that I've learnt to make the most of every chance I do get to talk to someone about my experience, even if it's really brief and it's not what I want to be asked about. I know that others have also been through some major changes in their own lives too and that instead of complaining and thinking badly of others who don't respond, I have tried to keep up the initiative on my part, thinking the best of others rather than taking offence or only looking to my own needs.

I can see the battle that was going on between my old and new self. By God's grace, I have been seeing more throwing off of the old self and more putting on of the new. And I thank God that He has helped me to be more open about things I'm going through because I've always had the tendency to keep things to myself and not want to open up to others to show my weaknesses and vulnerability. He has particularly been challenging me on bringing my sin into the light and really learning to walk in the light as it's written in 1 John 1:5-10. He has brought me so much freedom as He helped me to see how my sin grieves Him and helped me to flee sin and temptations and to expose my sins for what they really are.

Knowing that God has already conquered over sin has really allowed me to see the sin that I struggled with after coming back no longer having any hold on me!

Back in Melbourne

It has been a month since I left Japan! There have been ups and downs as I got used to living at home again and I guess the reverse culture stress and adjustment has been more overwhelming than I expected (even though I had braced myself for it).

The hardest thing has been getting my head around all the changes that have taken place and actually bring myself to deal with/accept the changes. What makes it hard is that I like and don't like change at the same time. I don't know if that makes sense.

All I know is that even though all things change and have an end, God is that only constant in my life whom I can depend on. He gives me so much to look forward to as I prepare to transition into serving full-time with Student Life back here!

Church and Real Relationships

I can't remember when I stumbled across this but it's from the sermon "The Three Principles of Discipleship" by Eddie Snipes.

The number one reason that people leave their church is they have no real relationships. People come into a congregation; they feel accepted and welcomed so they join. They may be respected and well liked, but because discipleship never gets beyond a Sunday morning handshake, they begin to feel isolated. Church becomes a routine instead of a hunger. People then go to church out of a feeling of obligation to God, not because we have a true love for God’s people.

When we get to this point, we are only one disappointment away from giving up. We all need something more than this routine. The reason why we long for something more is because we were designed for something more. God did not create any ‘Lone Christians’. God calls us to lift each other up.

There should not be a single person in the church that does not have at least one friend they meet with in an unstructured environment outside of church.

It's a sad reality that what he talks about is true of many churches. Even having gone to church for a long time, I realise there are probably many things I think or believe about church that are not true which are a result of seeing and hearing about problems that happen in church.

Instead of letting those misconceptions lead me to adding to the problems, it's more important to seek God to replace those misconceptions with His truths so that He can use me to address and lessen the problems.

How different the church would look if we were intentional about investing time in real relationships and discipleship.

Are you a Minister of God?

Minister
One who attends or waits on another, (one who serves! Matthew 20:28)
so Elisha was the minister of Elijah (1 Kings 19:21; 2 Kings 3:11).
Angels are ministers of God and of his people (Psalms 103:21; Hebrews 1:14).
Christ came to minister, not to be ministered unto.
(From the ATS Bible Dictionary)

Here's a excerpt from the book "Following Jesus Without Dishonoring Your Parents" by Jeanette Yep, Peter Cha, Paul Tokunaga, Greg Jao & Susan Cho Van Riesen.

"Since the days of the early church, history has led us to an unfortunate understanding of the word minister as a professional, seminary-educated leader. This leads the rest of us to think that ministry is an extra, a volunteer aspect of our lives.

Kingdom resources are often wasted because those who do not do official "ministry" simply pour all of their skills and talents into self-growth, success or making money.

More Christians should see themselves as ministers first in whatever job they do and seek to maximize their effectiveness as kingdom workers, regardless of position or title."

What a big difference it would make if Christians changed their perspective on who is actually a "minister" and not automatically excuse themselves from being involved in God's work just because they are not in full-time ministry.

The Heart of the True Christian

I watched a video on YouTube by Mark Kielar speaking about "The Heart of the True Christian".

He talks about resolution #56 of Jonathan Edwards:

I resolve to never quit (nor in the least to slow down) in my fight against my sinful corruptions (no matter how unsuccessful I may be!!!).

He gives four types of responses when thinking about the seriousness of our sin and overcoming it, with the last one reflecting the heart of the true Christian!

The negative Christian says,

"It can't be done."

The lazy Christian says,

"What's the sense trying?"

The worldly carnal Christian says,

"That's legalism and I'm saved by grace so I don't have to do that."

The true Christian says,

"Though I cannot do it in my own strength, I believe in Christ and His example that gives me strength to do all things through Him."

What a challenge to keep examining the true condition of our hearts.